The Witch Wound in Coaches, Consultants, & Therapists

You want to grow your coaching, consulting, or therapy practice.

It would be nice to have a steady stream of new clients. A waitlist. Income you can count on. Enough demand that you can create an online course that actually sells.

To do this, of course you have to put yourself out there. And that’s a problem.

• What if people judge you harshly?
• What if they troll your videos and make fun of your message?
• What will your former professor, supervisor, or aunt think when they see your marketing?
• What if you get accused of just wanting money?
• What if you say the wrong thing and get attacked and ‘canceled’?

“Pfft, that’s silly” you might say… until it comes time to actually hit ‘publish’ on that extra vulnerable one.

Then the fears begin to swirl once again, sometimes spiraling into “I’ll be publicly shamed and I’ll never get another client and everyone will know I failed spectacularly”.
As an introvert, I get it. As a woman, I get it. As someone who chose to leave a secure career in favor of entrepreneurial freedom, I get it.

That fear of being shamed and ostracized is a primal one. It goes way back, and it’s still there today.

For me, this is the Witch Wound.

As money coach Denise Duffield-Thomas wrote: “Many of us have a collective fear around what it means to be outspoken, to be visible and to show up in our lives because we may be carrying an ancestral fear of being persecuted or being burnt at the stake.”

If you’re up for taking this concept literally, it is the idea that many of us inherited this fear of being persecuted for being different or misunderstood, both ancestrally and culturally. It’s in our blood and in our bones. (And it’s not specific to women, although certainly more prevalent.)

This inheritance impacts, in one way or another, everyone from any culture that ever went through a period of ‘witch hunting’. Which is most of them.

Non-literally, it still tracks that any threat of ostracization or public shaming strikes fear into the hearts of most people.

And through this ‘witch wound’ self-preservation mechanism, your coaching business or therapy practice remains relatively unknown, with just a trickle of clientele, and you continue to feel a little shy and uncertain as a business owner.

That fear is real and valid, so how can you overcome it? What does it take to heal the witch wound? Many have written about this before me, but my take on it here is directly related to coaches and therapists running their own business.

These 5 Things Will Help You Heal the Witch Wound to Run Your Business with Sage-like Confidence and Tranquility:

• Exposure Therapy: Do it – survive it – do it again. Just as in exposure therapy for phobias, marketing and sharing incrementally more & more and focusing on the positive outcomes (even if at first that’s simply “I didn’t die”) can create a self-reinforcing cycle of growth and healing over time.
• Connection: Remember that when you market your work with passion and heart, and you’re willing to be authentically yourself, that will resonate with others; especially your ideal clients. Inspirational quotes are easy and safe. But individuality, vulnerability, and taking a stand for something creates connection.
• Community: Gather yourself a small group of entrepreneurial cheerleaders and lean into their support. They will understand better than anyone the courage it takes to put yourself out there in your marketing, and the need to recover from the sting of criticism. They’ll need your support and encouragement too, and when you say the wise and supportive things to them, a part of you will also hear it.
• A Strong Foundation: Having a strong foundation to support your marketing, such as your gorgeous brand and website that are infused with your unique energetic signature, goes a long way when it comes to feeling confident and serene after you hit ‘publish’. Psychologically it’s like having a whole team backing you, even if you’re the only human member of that team.
• A Simple System: It isn’t fair to yourself to leave your marketing to the mercy of whims, posting something every 2-5 months and having no next steps ready for the people who do see it. It also doesn’t serve you well to wait until client leads dry up before you start focusing on marketing again. Having a marketing system that is all set up to do the work for you makes an almost magical difference. It’s like when I take the time to haul out my big orchard ladder to harvest plums from my tree, in contrast to the times I’ve tried to balance on the rickety fence and ended up clinging precariously to a branch. It’s more work up-front, but afterward I come away carrying a basket brimming with fresh fruit instead of scratches all over my arms and three plums tucked into my bra.

So my friend, if you’re having a hard time putting yourself out there and getting your business noticed, I hope these 5 things will help to guide you. And I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, knowing that some of these fears are embedded in your DNA and conquering them may take some time and loving support.